Gamophobia
by Initial A
Summary: <html><head></head>Killian looked up, a bit surprised. "Are we actually discussing marriage, Swan?" Her shoulders stiffened. "Nope. No, we are not. Discussing anything." (Part 1 of We're Grown Up Orphans)</html>


She was cleaning. The infernal "radio" was turned up loud enough that he couldn't hear himself think, let alone her hearing him knock on the door to the loft, so it may have been understandable that she was startled at his intrusion and brandished her broom at him. "Love, a man can't hear himself think over this noise!" He shouted, his words getting lost in the racket of the radio.

She dropped her guard and gave him her patented look of exasperation, and went to turn it down. When both parties could be heard, she said, "I hate cleaning. Music makes it more bearable."

Well, that he could understand-long-gone days of Milah and singing and keeping the Roger ship-shape resurfaced in his mind. "Your father sent me up to see if you were unconscious somewhere, he's been calling you for ten minutes."

"Here I thought I missed out on the worried-parents-curfew thing," Emma said, picking up her phone and tapping away on it.

"I think that's a lifetime cross to bear, love."

She smiled a little, and her phone made a whooshing noise before she set it down again. "I've got dishes to finish, and then I'll head down."

Killian made himself comfortable at the counter while she took care of the breakfast mess. The radio was crooning on about a lad who was asking his lady's father for her hand, and the father rejecting him. He crooked an eyebrow in the direction of the music and asked, "Is that still a common practice?"

"Hmm?"

"Lad asking permission to marry a man's daughter."

"I dunno," Emma said, pausing. "Never had to think about it before. I guess some families, maybe, if they're traditional, but I don't think it's that common anymore."

He scowled, twisting his hook for something to do with his hand. "Knowing your father, lass, it's probably not only expected but he'll have some idea of royal ceremony for it..."

Emma chuckled. "I thought you set him straight about us. I think Dad'll be fine. It's Mom I'm more worried about..."

Killian looked up, a bit surprised. "Are we actually discussing marriage, Swan?"

Her shoulders stiffened. "Nope. No, we are not. Discussing anything."

He grinned at her deflective tone; he knew her very well at this point. She was thinking about it, and it scared her, and he knew not to push it further or it might startle her away. He didn't say anything further on the subject as she finished, and they left for the station. She didn't quite meet his eyes, but her fingers were laced through his during their walk.

* * *

><p>As time passed, the subject of marriage was mostly left undiscussed between them. A few times, Emma would let something slip, or he might casually drop a related topic to see her reaction. She put on one of her cheerful masks when Anna and Kristoff were finally wed; they had a good time, but he noticed that, when she thought he wasn't paying attention, she had a look of mixed anxiety, longing, and sadness.<p>

About six months after the subject was first breached, Killian ran into Henry on the lad's way home from school. They were headed the same way, so they walked together. He liked the boy, and it was amusing that he was catching up in height; he half-expected to hear the boy's seams groaning under the growth spurt. "So, what's with you and my mom?" Henry asked suddenly.

"Don't know what you mean, boy. Same as usual."

"I know, but like, are you gonna get married or what? Cuz I think Grandma and Grandpa want that, but whenever they ask me I don't know what to tell them."

Killian raised an eyebrow. "Henry, how well do you know your mother?"

Henry almost rolled his eyes. "Pretty well."

"So tell me, then, if I were to pop said question out of the blue, what do you think might happen?"

Henry made a face. "Yeah..."

"Exactly. So pardon me for sparing my own feelings on the subject."

They walked for a while longer. Then, Henry said, "I'm okay with it. If you wanted to, I mean. Last time, she asked me what I thought. He was alright. I mean, he was a flying monkey, but before we found that out I liked him. And a pirate captain stepdad is way cooler than a flying monkey stepdad."

Killian felt a rush of affection for the boy. He clapped him on the shoulder; they were men, after all, and affectionate words were saved for dire moments only. "You know, lad, you should tell Swan that. She might not run away from you."

This time Henry really did roll his eyes. "I'm not proposing to my mom for you." Killian opened his mouth to reply, but Henry continued, "_But_. I might pave the way a little. If you get my allowance raised to twenty bucks."

Killian chuckled. "Lad, I don't even know what that is, but I like a man who can negotiate."

* * *

><p>Emma came downstairs after saying goodnight to Henry. Killian was on the couch, leafing through a library book. "Why is Henry suddenly telling me it's okay for us to get married?" She asked, her body language reading scared and defensive.<p>

"Ask your parents, he mentioned they were asking about it."

He wasn't technically lying, so her superpower was thrown. Her shoulders eased, and she sat down by his feet hard, sighing. "I thought they weren't going to meddle..."

"Love, don't worry about it."

"It's not..." She glanced over at him. "Do you want to get married?"

He closed the book, using his finger for a bookmark. "In the general way, or are you asking?"

There was that Swan look again. "In general."

He shrugged. "Never been. Always a new adventure. But I'm not the only one in this question, and you tend to avoid the subject if I ask."

She sighed, resting her elbows on her knees. "I don't know, I... I mean... It'd be..."

He waited. He thought, _hoped_ rather, he knew what she was going to say, but he wanted to hear it, not deduce it. She rested her chin on her fists. "It'd be nice. I think. But I don't want to screw it up."

"Not that you would, love, but even if you did, I think my own charm and matchless personality would more than make up for it-" She whipped the decorative pillow at his head, and he blocked it, laughing.

"You are so full of it," she told him, her lips twitching as she fought a smile.

"Aye, but you love it," he taunted.

This time she did smile. It was a long time coming that she didn't tense up at the word "love". "Look, I'm not saying no to it altogether," she told him. "It's just not... Let me get used to it."

He smiled, and flipped his book open again. "It's a start, Swan."

She got up, put the pillow back, and started to leave the room. She paused for a moment in the doorway, looking back. "But I do think you'd have to talk to Mom and Dad first. A pirate marrying the crown princess is a_ little_ unorthodox, even for them."

Killian groaned, his head dropping onto the back of the couch.


End file.
